Hurricane 3000 Hair Dryer Review

So, I walk into the bathroom ready to unleash my new Hurricane 3000 hair dryer, marketed as a game changer for quick drying. I hit the button and instead of warm air, I hear a noise that sounds like a spaceship about to launch. Suddenly, my hair is being sucked in, and I panic. My finger gets trapped in the grill like a goon, and I feel like I am in a cartoon, face stretching towards the mirror. After a dramatic struggle, I yank it off, losing half my bangs in the process. I storm into the store to return it. The clerk, Sergio, thinks it works great. Innovative, he says. I ask if I should use it backwards. He says yes. What even is that? Avoid this dryer unless you want a lowkey punk look!